Do you keep on when times get tough? Do you keep on when maybe it’s time to make a u-turn? How do you know the difference? What processes do you use to make decisions?
I thought of these questions because sometimes I look at all the time I spend on writing and reading and sticking to people when occasionally I’d rather end the relationship and wonder what makes me keep on? With the writing, I get a lot of joy out of it even if it’s hard work sometimes and even when others say it needs work. I don’t think I’m as thin-skinned as in the past.
Reading is important for intellectual reasons and for entertainment and to learn through others’ experiences for my emotional well-being. I also read to get an idea of what works in the craft of writing. I can’t imagine not reading. I don’t read indiscriminately though. Books impact and I guard my heart when possible.
Relationships are a different story. Because of God in my life, I really do love people more than before choosing to follow Him. Rarely, I’ve ended a friendship or an acquaintanceship, (is that a word?) because it was causing pain and it was out of my control.
After praying, the ability to stay in touch ended. The pain of miscommunication and wrong behaviors got put behind me and I had to forgive them and/or myself and move along with life. With God’s help, I made other friends and hopefully learned from the uncomfortable interactions. Now I may say, “Hurting people hurt others.”
I don’t avoid people in pain, but I’m aware that they may lash out from their deep wounds. I prepare myself and keep healthier boundaries.
Decision-making comes from past experiences, asking my husband or experts in a field, weighing the options and trying to pick the right one, praying for God’s guidance, researching, and asking friends and family. Once a decision is made, I try to accept the consequences – especially when it turns out bad – and figure at the time it made the most sense. What else can a person do?
I hope these questions stimulate your thinking. I like the fact that we’re all unique and see the world in our own way. That adds depth to life.