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My husband and I went to a meeting for area pastors today and statistics about marriages failing came up. 50% of marriages break up, the man said.
An older man gasped, but I’d done research for a marriage book a few years ago. I wasn’t surprised. I put the book aside, and now I’m seeking God about my writing because I set aside a finished novel because it lacked intrigue.
As I sought God today I thought He directed me to blog on marriage.
The main speaker for our function ate lunch with us. He asked how long my husband and I have been married. “Forty-one years.”
I also felt as if God led me to Proverbs 21 before the idea came to blog. There’s a lot of advice in that Proverb and verse 9 in the New King James Version says it is “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
Verse 23 says, “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles.”
So although the verses are not coupled together, I’m well aware that it’s harder for me to be contentious when I’m keeping quiet.
Proverbs 17:1 says, “Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife.”
I’ve learned the hard way that words can steal the joy and drain ambition out of my husband with a well-phrased question or a reminder of a particular failed attempt. How I wished for a time machine to go back and re-live the moment with a positive response or a neutral comment.
Now, if you were to ask my husband, he would say I’ve supported him more often than discouraged him because he’s told me so. I’m just aware that there are times when I’ve been sorry my words slid by my self-control and then we both suffered the consequences.
Proverbs 14:1 (ESV): The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
So this discourse can be summed up by listing some strong helps for marriage:
- Following God because He loves you both and He gives great advice.
- Communicate in healthy ways when you’re not exhausted and after emotions have cooled down.
- Respect each other. If there’s not a lot of room for respect, ask God to show you how He sees your mate.
No one is perfect – no one. If my husband were abusive, I would love him from a distance with my children safe from harm and removed from a negative influence that they may imitate when they get older.
May God bless you!