Finding the “Right Spouse” Continues

A man in his thirties told me that if you marry an immature person, do not expect that person to mature just because they marry you. They may never mature.

My hairdresser said a person needs to consider what age range they want their spouse to be in, and to stay within those limits.

A friend in her forties said never to marry a man that hates his mother.

That prompted me to think about not marrying a man that is a huge Mommy’s boy. I’ve seen that scenario. It’s very hard on the wife. It’s hard on the man, too, because his mom may try to get between the husband and wife and then he’s forced to pick sides. In Genesis, God said a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. She becomes one flesh with him, she is his priority. My husband loved his mother and respected her, but he never put her first. She loved him and did her best to encourage our relationship and never interfered in our lives. She loved our children, too, but she didn’t spoil them rotten. She offered advice when asked and maybe once, unasked, but when I needed it, in a gentle manner. I appreciated what she had to say.

So I tell people to get to know the parents of the one they’re interested in. People often become their parents. The person may not think they’ll become like their parent. I didn’t. Yet, I see various traits from my parents, some good, some not so good, arising in times of stress, in times of joy, in every day habits. I liked my in-laws and that’s helped my marriage.

I know a gal that changed radically from her parents way of life, so that may happen too, but I’ll bet some of their characteristics followed her. It’s just the way it is. I tried to avoid some of the things my parents did, and succeeded for the most part. My children heard the word, “Sorry”, often. My husband, too. Then I worked very hard to keep that behavior and attitude invisible to others and prayed diligently for God to change me.

Anything I missed, I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

Traveling Light

Every once in a while we get to go on vacation and see family. My grandson is building a marketplace on Minecraft. He loves Minecraft. So nice to get away and come back refreshed. I even called a friend one state away from home to see if she’d be up for company. She said to call her when we reach the vicinity and she’d let us know. 🙂

Driving through America shows similarities in every state and some regional differences. We drove through streets lined with pine trees and up mountainsides. Later, other streets greeted businesses and homes with only a couple of feet to spare. A large river meandered on the opposite side of the street beside cement barriers, keeping the two from meeting.

My mom’s family migrated south from Canada into the States. She never lived in Canada, but we visited now and again. She used to lament how flat the terrain was in the section of Upstate NY, where her dad and mom settled down. Even Upstate NY has vagaries. Flat in some spots, hilly in others, lots of lakes and ponds, Niagara Falls with the tremendous roar of water, small mountains in the Southern Tier, it’s amazing. Beautiful land that I see represented all over the world, when I watch movies; our earth proclaims the glory of God.

My other grandfather hailed from Holland, in a section of the country that I heard got claimed by the sea. I’ve never been there, but windmills and pottery with dark blue scenes from Holland call to me, tulips are one of my favorite flowers to push through the soil in the spring.

Have you taken any trips lately, even a day trip in your own town? As a writer, there’s a chance of getting isolated, so I really appreciated the change in scenery and the interacting with people. If you got away, did you enjoy yourself and do you recommend any sites for others?

Continuing the De-cluttering Journey

Just past Christmas, if memory serves me, I bought a book by Marie Kondo with a sticker on it, “sold over two million copies.” I’m always interested in learning more about tidying up, those words are in the title, and as an author, a book that sells over two million copies is something to note. So I began to read, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.”

It’s a small book, so that didn’t hurt. It’s filled with ideas she’s incorporated in her business of helping others to de-clutter and to enjoy their surroundings and their stuff. I did the first step, and frankly it wasn’t too bad. The next step is one that I don’t look forward to trying, but I’m determined to do so. She includes spirituality in her book that doesn’t mesh with my beliefs, so I did my best to ignore that aspect of her book. I firmly believe Jesus Christ, God the Son; His Father, God; and God the Holy Spirit are the only God to worship. One God, three persons, a great mystery.

If you struggle with too much stuff, she’s gentle in her approach, she’s passionate about the topic, and she gives advice about the benefits of less and the hazards of too much. God gives free choice, so I have chosen to guard my heart after learning about many lifestyles and religions. Christianity measures up, in my opinion. So I skimmed over the different philosophy and tried to take in the mechanical and psychological insights. I’ve been praying for help in this area. My son, Tim visited for Christmas and suddenly I saw him cleaning and organizing the kitchen counter as a surprise. I teared up. That was the first step in the answer to prayer; this book and my first action is the second answer to prayer.

God answers prayer. Thank you, God. Thank you, Marie Kondo for your insights.

Just Show Up

Sunday night after church I got thinking about this blog. Crazy week, last week. When I went to the Montrose Christian Writers Conference, SuzyQ made a point of telling me if I was going to blog to make sure I showed up. So I’ve been trying to write once or twice a week. I didn’t make it last week.

I went to a doctor on Thursday for a small problem, he got telling me I needed to know every procedure I ever had done and what the blood results were. I rely on the doctor’s records, even though a friend told me years ago that I should keep a journal of medical stuff. I thought it was a good idea, I just never did it.

I told him what I remembered. He told me it wasn’t good enough. Never met a doctor quite like him. His first question to me was, “What are you doing here?” It seemed to go downhill from there. After a thorough exam, he decided I needed to see a different specialist. He told me a couple of things I didn’t know, which I appreciated. Then he began telling me that I was an unhealthy person. I saw my regular doctor the day before and she was telling me how good things looked. So I told him I was healthy, he told me I wasn’t. Back and forth a couple of times. Unbelievable. Laughable today, no where near laughable last week.

It’s a funny thing, my husband asked me if I wanted him to come along. I told him I planned on stopping at a few different stores and having lunch somewhere. He agreed to all that and when I came out of the doctor’s office, my emotions all messed up, it was nice to have someone to lean on.

Sometimes you just have to show up. I’m learning that with him. Sometimes I just need to be there to listen and not say anything. I appreciated him being there and giving me insights that the doctor might have been trying to get across. And he listened without saying anything after his initial response.

He showed up on a whim. I’m very aware that God’s word says that He orders a good mans’ steps. (Psalm 37:23)

Yay, God!

Leaving My Job

I’ve worked at a public library for over three and a half years. I gave my notice, without pressure from anyone, after thinking God said, in His still small voice, “What are you doing here?”
I pondered the question, and looked at my life, and thought, What am I doing here?
I gave my two weeks notice and will move into a new venture after two more work days. One thing I will do, I will press on to the upward call of Christ Jesus and see how that looks as I set goals and seek direction. I’m excited about writing time and unsure of short term writing goals. I will continue to work on a young adult novel and pursue excellence in the craft of writing. To God be the glory.