What If?

In Mary Higgins Clark’s book, Kitchen Privileges: A Memoir, she wrote that her Fordham University professor advised her to, “Take a true situation, one that intrigues you, that stays in your mind, ask yourself two questions, ‘Suppose’ and ‘What if,’ and turn them into fiction.”

I wrote that on an eraser board which hangs in my office, so I don’t know what page it’s on. It’s published by Pocket Books, New York, NY, copyrighted in 2002, and I enjoyed her book.

I’ve noticed with all that’s going on with my daughter’s wedding, my mind is not at peak performance. My husband is watching a television show with an actress I’ve liked for years and I cannot remember her name. I’m about to Google it because it’s driving me crazy.

She reminded me of a best friend from my high school days, so it surprises me that I can’t remember her name. Candice Bergen, unbelievable. Oh well, not high on my list of priorities. If you’re a Candice Bergen fan, please don’t take offense. I’ve enjoyed her acting many times over the years.

So, to get back to writing. I’ve been doing some deeper cleaning in preparation for company for the upcoming wedding. I ran across a paper that said, “A word from the Lord” on it, which I perceived to be from God. One of the items was to blog every day. The other was to send out a devotional I wrote months ago.

I realized I started the blogging, but never sent out the devotional because when I checked the guidelines it asked for at least fifty more words. It also asked for a current picture. The picture I have on Gravatar is not representative of my looks right now. I just have casual photos and some days I feel like a hamster on a wheel, so I haven’t asked any good photographers to capture my image. I’ve hired a photographer in the past and that was too long ago to look current.

Time to get past excuses and get on with editing the devotional and taking time earlier in my day to work on the novel. I looked at the file folder I have the latest edition of my novel in and I haven’t written since January 4, 2016 on it. Not cool.

I need to up the stakes on my protagonist, I think I’ve mentioned that before. I got the idea while blogging that I should take Mary Higgins Clark’s professor’s advice and ponder “What if…” and “Suppose this happened?”

I love to write, most of the time. How about you?

Pondering Cancer Treatments and Perfect Peace

Do you ever ponder? Sometimes I wonder if what I think about is something God wants me to be prepared for. Or because He knows what I’m thinking, does He then allow it? Even thought He’s outside of time and knows the beginning from the end.

In my naiveté and my intense longing for people to come to faith in and allegiance to Christ, I pictured myself in a situation. I, along with others, were in a waiting room. We had cancer. I witnessed to my fellow chemo-therapy patients about the joy of being a child of God. It felt right. I smiled.

Of course, there was no reality of fear of the diagnosis or the pain of the procedure. Having participated in the Hallelujah Acres or Hacres.com recommended lifestyle, I don’t even believe in chemo-therapy or radiation. I’m convinced of healthy eating habits and exercise to put anti-oxidants in my bloodstream and to reduce stress. I also believe in the Bible. One verse says, “You are not your own, you were bought with a price.”

Which means Jesus has called me to sacrifice myself for the well-being of others. This thinking is all well and good until you go to the dermatologist for a standard appointment. When  “By the way, will you check out this small irritation on my shoulder?” turns into an immediate biopsy, (which my doctor has never done), and then a diagnosis of a rapid growing skin cancer, I’m no longer philosophizing about the dreaded disease.

Did I do as I think Reverend George Malkmus of Hallelujah Acres would do and not get the offending site surgically removed? No. I went to the general surgeon a week ago and had him cut away the bad with the hopes that he reached all healthy tissue. I’ll find out the results and the prognosis tomorrow. I have 2 1/4 inches of Frankenstein-like stitches on my left shoulder, black thread to be removed tomorrow. As a Star Trek fan, I can’t help thinking it’s a barbaric way to treat the body.

So I sat on a wooden chair, bar stool height and played guitar for church services two times today, balancing the instrument on my legs.

I asked  my husband to go to the doctors’ tomorrow in case they want to remove more of my shoulder or if they suggest treatment. I want his support. I’ve prayed for healing and received others’ prayers for healing. I’m also very aware that this planet is not my home and heaven promises to be far better.

I believe God healed me. Maybe He’s testing me, “Do you intend to act on these thoughts of yours to witness to patients in the same situation as you are in?”

Frankly, I’d rather act on less painful scenarios that play their way through my mind.

I trust God. He’s answered way too many prayers and given me a deep abiding peace in the midst of struggles, to doubt His loving intervention in my life.