I’ve been hearing a lot about marriage ever since I started writing about it the past few days.
I heard a couple speak about their marriage on Focus on the Family radio broadcast yesterday. The woman said they found out after the wedding that despite having many interests in common, they discovered they were exact opposites in their personality traits and in the way they did things.
The man said it added flavor and spice to their interactions and he wouldn’t have it any other way. She agreed.
That surprised me. I’ve heard other people say the same thing, but their differences drove each other crazy.
So, how do you work things out?
Be willing to try things another way. You may find you like his favorite lunch: a peanut butter onion sandwich, if you take a bite.
When your spouse rolls the toothpaste tube up tight and you like it flat, consider if that is worth even arguing about. Do you have control issues? Talk about it, or pray about it and then bring it up, or gasp! – ignore it. It’s easy to get over things if you don’t build them up. Maybe be grateful that your spouse brushes their teeth in the first place.
When both parties are not tired, make a list of things you like to do together. If there isn’t anything, ask what they like to do and see if you can force yourself to go. Stepping into the other person’s world can bring a connection worth any initial discomfort. If you hate it, be honest and tell your partner that it’s just not for you. At least now you probably have an understanding of the job or hobby and it’s an area you can talk about.
When you love someone, you want what’s best for them. If you’ve lost that loving feeling, become a detective and look for things you like about your spouse.
Concentrate on the positive attributes and try to ignore the minor annoyances. When you try and bless the other person, they will notice and usually pay attention. That’s a great first step to re-kindle the spark that ignited early in your romantic relationship.
I’m not very familiar with arranged marriages, but I’ve met some people that started marriage due to their parents’ agreement with another family. They seemed content with one another.
If a person finds themselves in a marriage with someone with serious issues, many folks find help with a marriage counselor’s assistance.
To me, a marriage is worth working on to strengthen the bond between man and wife. I remember a friend of mine back in high school. She was an art student. She showed me her arm and the way it curved. She said it’s perfectly designed to fit with a man’s arm.She found that fascinating. An arm linked with the arm of a person of the same sex does not meld together.
In the book of Genesis, near the beginning, God made man and then He made woman to be a helpmate for him. Men have strengths and women have strengths and they complement each other.
In our home, if one of us is better at paying bills and keeping a budget, that person does the work regardless of their gender. If one of us likes to garden and the other doesn’t, then the other gets to totally ignore the garden and the landscaping and the other gets to choose plants and dig in the dirt until the sun goes down if they want to.
1 Corinthians chapter 7 gives principles of marriage: these include showing affection for one another and realising that since they became one flesh they don’t have authority over their own bodies, but their spouse has authority over the other’s body. So they should not deprive the other person without permission from their spouse. Even then, Paul says it should not be for a long time so they don’t get tempted by someone else.
There’s so much about marriage, I could write a book, which is why I started to. I don’tknow if I’ll write anymore about marriage for a while. I’ll have to pray about it. I just know that the longer I’m married, the more I appreciate God coming up with the model of marriage for men and women. Marriage gives men respect, purpose and stability. It gives women love, value and security, to name a few benefits for both sexes.
May God bless you.