My husband and I got married many years ago. Sometimes, I’ll hear couples say, “We never fight.”
I always wonder about that statement. Do they avoid areas where they might disagree? Is one partner so compliant they never voice their opinion? Are they afraid to hear what the other might say?
After all these years, at times I know what my husband is going to say, so it might be tempting to speak for him.
Which I’ve done, but I decided quickly to cut it out. That’s a surefire way to stifle communication.
Before we got married, the man set to perform the ceremony said we’d need pre-marital counseling sessions with him.
I remember the advice, “Don’t hit below the belt.” In other words, be kind.
Also, “Stay on the topic you’re fighting about. Don’t drag up offenses from months or years ago, which fuels the fire.”
The Bible says to not let the sun go down on your wrath. Get things resolved.
The Bible also says to speak the truth in love. If something is bothering me and my husband comes home looking tired and he tells me he’s had a rough day, I wait for a better time to bring up a complaint. I try not to blame.
We talk things out, respecting each other.
If we have an argument, we don’t pout for days. We don’t punish the other person for speaking up. We discuss things. If an apology is needed, we say we’re sorry. We try to stop doing what’s disturbing the other spouse. We’re not perfect!
We offer grace when the other person is struggling with something that is hard to live with, within limits. If something is dangerous, demeaning, illegal, immoral it’s not allowed in our family. Each of us has the right and responsibility to say, “No. This is a safe place for us and our guests.”
We agree. That’s why we are still married after all these years. We don’t fight as often as we used to, and neither of us like to get into disagreements.
Sometimes, it’s unavoidable and pandemics don’t help. We talk, we say we’re sorry for our part in it, we hug and we move on.
May God bless you!
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