We Never Fight! Really?

My husband and I got married many years ago. Sometimes, I’ll hear couples say, “We never fight.”

I always wonder about that statement. Do they avoid areas where they might disagree? Is one partner so compliant they never voice their opinion? Are they afraid to hear what the other might say?

After all these years, at times I know what my husband is going to say, so it might be tempting to speak for him.

Old Couple, Old, Senior, Couple, Happy
(This photo is from https://pixabay.com/images/search/old%20couple/. The lady looks a bit like my mother-in-law.)

Which I’ve done, but I decided quickly to cut it out. That’s a surefire way to stifle communication.

Before we got married, the man set to perform the ceremony said we’d need pre-marital counseling sessions with him.

Fall, Wood, Tree, People, Outdoors, Park
(This photo is also from https://pixabay.com/images/search/old%20couple/.)

I remember the advice, “Don’t hit below the belt.” In other words, be kind.

Also, “Stay on the topic you’re fighting about. Don’t drag up offenses from months or years ago, which fuels the fire.”

The Bible says to not let the sun go down on your wrath. Get things resolved.

The Bible also says to speak the truth in love. If something is bothering me and my husband comes home looking tired and he tells me he’s had a rough day, I wait for a better time to bring up a complaint. I try not to blame.

We talk things out, respecting each other.

If we have an argument, we don’t pout for days. We don’t punish the other person for speaking up. We discuss things. If an apology is needed, we say we’re sorry. We try to stop doing what’s disturbing the other spouse. We’re not perfect!

We offer grace when the other person is struggling with something that is hard to live with, within limits. If something is dangerous, demeaning, illegal, immoral it’s not allowed in our family. Each of us has the right and responsibility to say, “No. This is a safe place for us and our guests.”

We agree. That’s why we are still married after all these years. We don’t fight as often as we used to, and neither of us like to get into disagreements.

Sometimes, it’s unavoidable and pandemics don’t help. We talk, we say we’re sorry for our part in it, we hug and we move on.

May God bless you!

Life: Patience Required

                         I’ve had some trouble with my computer freezing up and every time it did, I’d do a hard shut down. I learned that is bad for the computer. I had to get some work done on it and it took me a while to find someone to help.

10,000+ Free Computer & Laptop Images - Pixabay
(This photo is from http://www.livecampwork.com
accessed by Google when looking for free photos of computers through Pixabay.)

                   In (Galatians 5:22, 23 NKJV), it says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

                   Longsuffering can be translated to patience. God is working on me to develop some better characteristics. Over this last month, patience is one of them. Between the computer and wearing a mask in public, etc., etc., ….

                   My mom used to say, “This too, shall pass,” when things were difficult. I agree.

                   I hope you are well!

                   May God bless you!